This is the Year of the Wedding (or at least, the Q3 10/11 of the wedding). Not mine – been there, done that. My two dearest friends are tying the knot with their two dearest friends, and my husband’s dearest friend is tying the knot with his dearest friend.
How does one stay supportive through friends’ wedding preparations? (Or as one of the wedded-to-be calls it, “wedmin”?)
Naturally, seeing these are two best friends’ weddings, I am going to try for best wedding friend. And puns are only the beginning.
Unfortunately (or actually, fortunately), they have set a rather high bar. Before I got married last year, I received a whole lot of free counselling and enabling when it came to ice cream or chocolate. One of them actually came from London for the week leading up, to basically sort me out. And I did need some sorting.
Weddings are incredible things to organise. You go from being excited about this amazing thing – someone wants to marry you and you want to marry them right back – and then you are planning an event. You have spreadsheets and lists, none of which distract you from the emotional rollercoaster of wondering: if they will still love you afterwards, or if you will; if they will finally realise that you are not what they think you are, or you will and it will be too late to call it off because what a waste of cake!
And yet, although I can’t remember much of my wedding except for great, dazzling moments of total clarity, like seeing life through a fisheye lens with the colour amped to full saturation, those moments made the preceding months of anxiety and exploding brain worthwhile.
I want my friends to have a Day of it. Their Day. Not ‘Their Special Day” in a corn syrup way – more of a “Day of Love, Bravery and Very Good Cake.”
If I achieve nothing else as best wedding friend, I commit to achieving this: they will get some of their own Cake. That was my personal goal at my own reception, and when I got some, I thought it had indeed, all been worthwhile, for when else do you get to spend hundreds of dollars on cake?
I will also make sure to have a hand-bag the size of a small sheep dog, to fit in the necessary accoutrements of Love and Bravery. My role there is going to be one of support, as they take that very deep breath for themselves. In my bag: tissues, pain killers, emergency chocolate, remembrances, and maybe a couple of rings.